WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
