I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
