have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
