"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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