We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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