my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
