Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
