got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
