Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
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