I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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