Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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