I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
