Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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