so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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