Tell her she can't have a vagina
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
