Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
