I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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