Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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