is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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