somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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