its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
