If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I could fuck to npr.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
