wakey wakey hands off snakey
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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