drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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