so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
