Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize