This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
