i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I am one with the molecules
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
