i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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