I got chris browned last night
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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