Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
