so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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