You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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