Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
