i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just found a bag of teeth...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
