Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
