can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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