Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
