Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
only you would photoshop your dick
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
