____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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