After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
