I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
porn star boner night. come get it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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