I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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