We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
