How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
dude i'm inner monologue high
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
