I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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