Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
