Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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