His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
