you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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