is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
