I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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