were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
