just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
