I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
