i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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